Composed yesterday while I was having an epic wait at the airport. I'd planned to post it during a layover, but that ended up lasting approximately three minutes.

( thoughts on the dark knight, with spoilers )

Weather: thunderstorming

Odds of plane departing on time: SLIM.

Par for the course.

Things of Great Hilarity and Magnitude:

3. Dr Horrible Act II! Oh, EVERYONE. ILU.

2. Everything about Simon Amstell and Never Mind the Buzzcocks, but there is this one episode...well there are a lot of episodes, really, but this one clip in particular that had me, like, drooling with laughter the first (and many subsequent) times I saw it. The part I'm talking about starts at like 7:30, but the whole episode is amazing.

1. I assume people are familiar with this bit of hilarity from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. If not, go read that first. Okay? Awesome. Now watch this: Steve Carell's interview from several weeks ago. I almost swallowed my tongue.

I make so many of those things sound dangerously hilarious, but they're not!

Or ARE THEY?!

1. Dr Horrible Act 1: so many gold stars, you guys, I can't even

2. I got the Twilol EW today and it is even more horrible/brilliant/hilaritragic in person. OH MY GOD, what were these people thinking.

3. I am going away for like three weeks on the 21st! I am taking my computer, hobvs, but I'm a bit panicky about how many books/skeins of yarn to bring. I am going to visit family, WHAT IF I RUN OUT OF ENTERTAINMENT.

4. I feel like I only ever use the same three or four different moods. WHOOPS?

5. My hair is at a very strange point in its life right now and it is driving me insane.

6. I watched a movie called St. Trinian's the other day and it was AMAZING. Not so much the bits with Colin Firth making out with Rupert Everett in drag (...?!?) but more the parts with psychotic homicidal British schoolgirls. A+. Also, the new Bond girl is one of the schoolgirls, despite it only coming out like a year ago. Actually, just watch this instead, it's amazing.

*edits*
7. OMG. So apparently scientists have discovered a FIFTH FLAVOR that humans can taste, and it is amazing. SCIENCE, why so awesome?! Of course it's named after a Japanese thing, natch.

SCENARIO: You know a movie is coming out soon, but you're not sure of the exact date, so you double check on Fandango at the beginning of the week and lo, they have tickets! So you buy tickets for a midnight showing, because, well, fuck, this movie is going to be capital-a Awesome and you want to see it immediately.

You rope some friends into this, and even if you can remember spectralbovine talking about it being released on the same weekend as the Avatar finale, and even if when you're like "movie tiems: so soon!!" to rawles and she's like uh huh anyway, you are completely sure about this.

Does that mean that The Dark Knight is being released this weekend?

NO. IT DOES NOT. Because I am a moron.

hello livejournal! I have not been posting for a very long time, because I was accosted by family for the holiday. It was a busy week, as I:

-was accused of polyamory by my grandmother
-watched an alternately quaint and offensive parade
-watched fireworks
-drank a lot of beer
-fell in love with Simon Amstell
-knit many many hats
-was highly unsatisfied by the Who finale
-nearly melted
-watched Wimbledon (I have alternating :((((( FEDERER/\o/ Nadal feelings, it's very complicated and confusing)

I think that's all the highlights. I also took one of my all time favorite pictures, my mental caption of which goes: "how many college students does it take to fix a grill, or: how reassuring is it to hear 'we don't think it's going to explode'?"

I have ALSO recently watched the first seasons of both Spooks and Black Books. I really like Black Books, have not really any strong feelings about Spooks. It's like The Eagles at this point.

In conclusion, I am about to buy this. ETA: no I'm not, it's not a wallet! Cryyyy/learn to read, SELF.

HAHA, amazing. I love nature.

I have just (ALMOST) knitted a successful hat!! I didn't notice that the pattern called for a yarn needle, so I can't sew it up the back. Whoops. SO CLOOOOSE. Then I'm going to start making another one because, well, I need a compulsive hobby and what else are you going to do when it's 85 degrees outside?

HERE IS A SILLY MEME I AM DOING: Ask me for a thing you know I watch(ed)/read:

1. The first character I fell in love with.
2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now.
3. The character everyone else loves that I don't.
4. The character I love that everyone else hates.
5. The character I used to love but don't any longer.
6. The character I would shag anytime.
7. The character I'd want to be like.
8. The character I'd slap.
9. A pairing that I love.
10. A pairing that I hate.

"All the Pilgrims did was ruin the American Indian orgy of freedom."

- Krysta Kapowski, played by Sarah Michelle Geller, in Southland Tales

In order to attempt to salve my KJSNFDNSJ after watching Who tonight, I decided to watch Southland Tales. Five minutes into the opening I was like THIS WAS PROBABLY A BAD IDEA. Now I'm pretty sure...it was the best idea ever.

Things I don't recommend: having a cup of coffee and then getting stuck in rush hour traffic.

Things I especially don't recommend: having a cup of coffee and then getting stuck in rush hour traffic, and then getting lost for an hour once you find your exit.

But! Now I have a lovely new printer, and as soon as I get a USB cable (wtf self, why didn't you own at least one before?) I will have a SCANNER. Plus, you know, printing capacity. Now I won't be reduced to taking pictures of randomly found white-hot pictures of Dwayne Johnson when they appear in magazines. Not that I've done that recently or anything, IT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE. It also comes with wee little printer cartridges that actually made me AWWWW out loud. Yes, at printer cartridges; no, I don't know.

I finished watching The Devil Wears Prada yesterday, and while it was a pretty movie, I was weirded out by a lot of the things they chose to alter from the book. On the other hand, I am relieved to note that I DO like Anne Hathaway, and I think it might just have been residual Ella Enchanted/Princess Diaries bitterness.

In other news, I just read about an adaptation of Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging, the first in a British YA series that my friends and I were obsessed with in like, all of sophomore year of high school. They're hilarious. Gurinder Chadha is doing the film, so that should be awesome.

When I was in high school, with only a few exceptions, I primarily listened to classic rock. All the big names, plus some of the smaller ones, discovered in my dad's extensive CD and vinyl collections - save one. I could not stand Led Zeppelin. It was a major point of contention between me and some of my co-workers, who would play Zeppelin IV on the stereo system when they could, partly to drive me insane and partly to try to show me the error of my ways. Bonham and Page, whatever, they're awesome. The source of my dislike was simple, but profoundly felt: Robert Plant's voice was like nails on a chalkboard for me. That omnipresent, famous wailing cry...it made me want to rip my ears off.

So you can imagine my surprise and horror when I discovered last year that Alison Krauss, a folk/bluegrass singer that I like quite a bit, was releasing an album with Plant. I was even more stunned when I listened to it and realized: hey, this is pretty good. More than that, I actually LIKED Plant's voice.

Last night, I saw them perform at Ravinia and it was one of the best concerts I think I've ever attended. I was probably one of the few members in the audience not fervently hoping that Plant would sample some of Zeppelin's big songs, but the interpretation of "Black Dog" that they offered was phenomenal. I find myself once again in the awkward position of having to grudgingly admit that Plant is pretty awesome. It's not so much the effect aging has had on his voice (he's neither a David Gilmour nor a Roger Waters, in terms of present quality) - though he is less able to shriek now than he used to be, probably. The addition of Krauss's harmonizing really takes the grating edge off his voice, for me at least. The biggest complaint I've heard about their album (and there are not many) is that they don't spend much time singing together, for all that they collaborated. The album really suffers in comparison to the concert in that regard, as they really went above and beyond with new arrangements and interpretations.

In closing, I offer you two of my favorite tracks from Raising Sands: Fortune Teller and Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On).

Okay, so like. Twilight has eaten my brain, etc, etc, but seriously this movie is so primed to be what I was hoping for from the books. TO START OFF, apparently the head writer of the script, Melissa Rosenberg, is best known for her work in writing the second season of DEXTER, the most sociopath/good girl OTP-y show EVER. THEN, today, I was saying to rawles that my new goal is to start stalking the cinematographer (Elliot Davis) for the film because it is really gorgeous, and also so creepy and horror movie-esque and so, so great with the way Edward and Bella are shot. What did I discover? In addition to a bunch of random shit, Davis is also credited as the cinematographer for Thirteen and White Oleander. The latter is based on a book about a young girl whose mother goes to prison, leaving her to a series of foster homes that totally fuck her up, basically. The relationship between Astrid, the daughter, and Ingrid, the mother, is incredibly emotionally abusive and Astrid continually relies on the fact that she knows Astrid can't leave her to pull her back in.

Thirteen is a really phenomenal movie that came out a couple years ago about this 13-year-old girl who gets into this really abusive friendship with this other girl, and they start off stealing money to buy shoes and clothes. It quickly escalates into stealing a lot of money, having sex with way older dudes, and doing a lot of drugs. The actress who plays the other girl in the movie co-wrote it at like sixteen, OH AND IS ALSO PLAYING ROSALIE IN Twilight. And her co-writer (and also director of the film) IS THE DIRECTOR OF Twilight.

What the HELL, movie? Are they mining Hollywood for anyone with experience in fucked up teenage girls and/or sociopath/good girl?! I'm pretty sure that they are, and also that I totally love it. What, I'm already ashamed of myself, I give up.

Holy BALLS, I just finished the sweatiest two mile run I think I've ever had. It's like 85 degrees and about ten minutes from thunderstorming, so humid as fuck too. UGH. I jogged over to the middle school track, all set to run like three or four miles, and then after two it was like EEE-haaaa EEEEE-haaaaa OH MY GOD MUST BE HOME, SEND AN AMBULANCE.

Oh, humidity. My constant companion.

I hope everyone is getting to celebrate Father's Day in style. My dad and I are celebrating by him watching golf and me not harassing him. Later there will be Italian food. \o/

I have been trying to post things in the last couple days, things that are more like "omg narnia" or "omg iron man (again)" or really ANYTHING but what I am about to post instead! Twilight is constantly gnawing on my brain like an insatiable zombie, and instead of doing anything more horrifying I am going to VENT MY FRUSTRATIONS WITH IT HERE.

My frustrations with the extant series are best expressed here, by rawles. Her discussion of the books encompasses basically all of my major objections to the portrayal of romantic relationships, but believe it or not, I somehow still find myself with MORE meta objections. It may seem at odds to be so worked up over a series of books that I grew interested in specifically because of their ridiculous premise and overwrought writing, but the NATURE of their terribleness is really what came to drive me nuts.

( All I wanted was silly vampire badfic, and look what happened instead )

THERE. Now I am finished with thinking about this and I won't write anything else about it. *resolve face*

Exciting news everybody!

I have a new computer!

STARSCREAM IS NO MORE. LONG LIVE OPTIMUS.

(and now back to twilight, I am so ashamed)

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night - not uncommon - and heard a weird rustling noise. I thought it might be a cat, so I turned on a light and investigated, only to find an absolutely enormous spider chilling on an old X-Files magazine page I have taped to the wall. It ran behind the page and peered out at me with a couple monstrous legs until I managed to overcome my heebie-jeebies and kill it with a book.

This morning I found a spider in my shower, and four more in the downstairs bathroom.

augh augh augh! WHY THIS TORMENT, ARACHNIDS, I CANNOT LET YOU LIVE ONCE I'VE SEEN YOU. SURELY YOU KNOW THIS BY NOW!!

Gah. And now I have only Moffat's episode to comfort me, I'm sure now I'll be too afraid to go into libraries ever again (confession: I am a total wuss about scary things, I never watch scary movies because they give me anxiety attacks in the middle of the night).

It must officially be summer. There are dead ladybugs strewn all over my carpet and I just caught the first arachnid intruder into my room and nearly knocked over one bookshelf trying to get rid of it. I also can't seem to find my flip flop since then, HMM.

I have enlisted the Roomba's help in cleaning up my room since I don't really fancy the task of picking up eight million lady bugs and gnats. This is a good plan but I don't think my cat will forgive me anytime soon.

After the thunderstorms last night it is too wet outside to sit in the hammock! I do not approve.

I am going to drop off the books I posted about at the library tomorrow, so today is the last day to call any of them! I know they are all HOT TICKET ITEMS.

This is a very boring post I know. Maybe later I will tell you all about the birds that live in the trees behind my house, there are a lot of them and they are all very noisy. Especially the two woodpeckers. But on the other hand the garden is very pretty.

More books!

Pygmalion, George Bernard Shaw
The Bookseller of Kabul, Åsne Seierstad
Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston
Water For Elephants, Sara Gruen
House of Incest, Anaïs Nin
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Muriel Spark
The Magician's Nephew, C. S. Lewis

I also finally took a bunch of old clothes up to a clothing donation box. Closet space \o/!

Double feature night: a total of six thumbs.

Things that are not awesome: The first real life adaptation of Death Note. Oh my God, it's so hilarious. They took basically everything about the anime that is subtle and interesting (the music, the pacing, the acting, the cinematography, the NAMES) and made them...not that way. It didn't help that it featured an awful dub, but I doubt the original Japanese would have helped that much. THOUGH MAYBE more dubbing would have helped in all the really dramatic scenes where they're showing newspaper articles or news stories with FLASHING RED IMPORTANT NEWS THING except IT'S IN JAPANESE, thanks dubbers, you couldn't even throw us a subtitle? Everyone including the nine-year-olds behind us were in stitches by the end. TWO THUMBS... I don't even know, it's terrible, but also HILARIOUS. One thumb up, one thumb down.

Things that are TOTALLY AWESOME and COMPLETELY WORTH THE PRICE OF ENTRY: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: A++ FOUR THUMBS UP.

Having just returned from The Big City, I am now trying to fit all my college stuff back into my room, and it has come to my attention - yet again - that I have a lot of shit. More specifically, a lot of DVDs and books, some of which I don't really want anymore! Now my great task is upon me to get rid of them, so that I conceivably have floor space again, or at least only a few piles. The books will be going to the library, but I thought since hey, my flist all seem to like books and movies pretty well, I would see if you guys were interested. In sum: I am offering you free things! Since I'd just be giving these to the library (or people irl that might want them) I don't want payment, except probably for postage (which will be media mail, and thus not that expensive). I haven't reeeeally gone through all the books, these are just the ones that jumped out at me as things I no longer want/need.

DVDs:

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Bride and Prejudice
Garden State
Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Mulholland Drive
Old School
Sin City [the cover with Clive Owen and Rosario Dawsen]

Books:

A Commonwealth of Thieves: The Improbable Birth of Australia, Thomas Keneally
Nightwatch, Sergei Lukyanenko
The Egyptologist, Arthur Phillips
Franny and Zooey, J.D. Salinger
Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger [this is my copy from high school english, so odds are there are some stupid margin comments, though I have not checked to be sure]
The Muse Asylum, David Czuchlewski [hardback]
Cromwell, Antonia Fraser
The Home and the World, Rabindranath Tagore
The Fire Sacrifice, Susham Bedi
Cracking India, Bapsi Sidhwa [inspiration for Deepa Mehta's film Earth]
Umrao Jan Ada, Mirza Mohammad Hadi Ruswa
The Russian Debutante's Handbook, Gary Shteyngart
The Plot Against America, Philip Roth
Lullabye, Chuck Palaniuk
Choke, Chuck Palaniuk
The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Alexander McCall Smith [first in the series]
The Second Summer of the Sisterhood, Ann Brashares [second in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series]
Girls in Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood, Ann Brashares [hardback; third in the series]
Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte [hardback]

One: I cheered. Suck on that, PRESIDENT SEXTON.

Two: